久しぶりにジョギングをしてきました。
家の近所にある小川は、昭和50年代にはコンクリートで護岸された薄暗い生活排水のための川でしたが
今は、たくさんの植物や野鳥や魚が集う、地域で大切にされている場所に生まれ変わっています。通るだけで楽しいジョギングコースです。
涼しくなるとやって来る野鳥たちは
ここに居る半年以外の年の半分を、どこで過ごしているのでしょう。
そう思うと、彼らのホームタウンは？
彼らが本当に憩える場所はどこ？
と聞いてみたくなります。
ここなの？それとも、別の北の国？
私はかなり幼い時期から、「ここ」が私の居場所ではない
と思う癖がついています。
今、こうしてこの半年ほぼ自室にひきこもって作業をしていても
私がほんとうに居たい場所は、ここではないように思っています。
ずっと…一生そうなのでしょう。
インド出身イギリス育ちのアメリカ人。奈良にも拠点を持つ作家で、
「ホーム」は「人」なのではないかという考察を語っている方（ピコ・アイヤーさん）にお目にかかったことがあります。
そうなのでしょうか？
その答えがわかる日が来るとしたら、
私はどこで誰と何をしているのでしょう？
居場所を探す旅はもう終わったよ
と思える方はいらっしゃいますか？
どんな感覚か…教えていただくことは、できますか？
私の場合、実は答えが出る「かもしれない」日を
密かにずっと心待ちにしていたりは、するんですが。
I took a jog for the first time in a while.
A stream near my house had been a dark concrete protected paved-over drain waterway since the 1970s. But recently the concrete had been removed and the stream has been changed into an open space where people can go to relax and refresh themselves. A lot of plants now grow in the area, and, fish and birds gather there too. I enjoy this new, more natural and enlivened atmosphere whilst I jog.
Many birds such as egrets and herons come to the stream in the Autumn and Winter. I wondered, where do they live in the Spring and Summer?
I want to ask these birds, where is your home town?
Which is the best place you can relax?
Here? Some other place? Perhaps a place somewhere in the further north of the country?
I tend to think the place where I live is not the place that I should be living in. At least not now, not at this time of my life. Those are thoughts that originated from my childhood days.
Staying in my room of my home for almost half-a-year, I feel this really is not the right place. I feel restless. My soul seems to want to be elsewhere. I feel there must be somewhere else out there where I can love to live. Maybe that feeling will exist within me until the last day of my life.
Once, I met the acclaimed essayist and travel author, Mr. Pico Iyer. Writer of books including; The Global Soul. He is of Indian descent but was born and raised up in The U.K. He now lives in Nara, Japan.
He effectively said that “home” is in fact “the person”.
Is he right?
I want to find out the right answer to the questions - Where should I live and what should I do?
I want hear the answer from somebody who could successfully reach the answer already.
I hope to hear from them how that feeling is.
Though I am most looking forward to the day that I can reach the answer by myself.
